God Bless America

...For My Wedding Ring

You never know when you might find yourself in a pickle. So consider this the pickle slicer. It looks as painful as it looks cool. And the tip comes off, so one second it looks like a harmless wedding ring, the next second you're punching out windows (or eyeballs). Wow.

Hope I never run into the wrong end of one of these.

TAD Gear Titanium Rescue Ring

One man's safety precaution is another man's deadly weapon. Sure, the TAD Gear Titanium Rescue Ring is meant to break glass in case of emergency, but come on, it's a ring with a spike on it. That's bad ass. It includes a keyring for the breaker tip in case you don't want to always wear the spiked ring... although we don't know why you wouldn't want to. Frankly, we intend to get one for every finger.

This is the Ogilvy NY Building

I'll never work there.

Target Billboard in Times Square

Another beautiful idea from Target:

So they covered a massive corner in Times Square with design riddled canvas. Four artists contributed. Beautiful from a distance. So many details you couldn't even take the whole thing in, even if you were up close.

The cool part is that after this posting comes down, the canvas is going to be turned into 1,600 bags by Anna Sui.

I think you can pre-order them at www.target.com/billboardbag. They're likely going to sell out as soon as they're posted. So good luck getting one.

Beautiful idea, though.

Sexiest photoshoot I've been to all year ... Oh wait, only photoshoot.

Avaya Phone Systems - Contest Entry

Here are the contest rules. Do you think we answered the question, or do you think the video is too generic (from a reason "why" we need new phones) to be considered effective?

What can I win?

It's simple: Tell us about the disconnects that are hurting your business, and if you win, we'll help you fix them.

The disconnect could be technical—like an outdated phone system, or a patched-together "system" that's unreliable. Or it could be a human problem—like frustrated customers or a key employee who no one can get a hold of. Or it could be a combination of both.

Whatever the problem is, tell us about it in a short video or written essay. You can be funny. You can be serious. You can be desperate. But however you do it, be sure to submit it by October 15, 2009.

Seattle is Crazy

Just got back from Seattle for homeboy Ricky Kimbo's day of matrimony. There are almost too many great stories to recount them all. Lucky for us, we have cameras.

So here's a quick-commentary, picture-cap:

There were fake mustaches at the wedding. Probably the best idea ever. Rick looks amazing in a classic stache and tuxedo combination.

Rick got married on the 19th. That's also Mieka's birthday. They had a cake for her. I didn't get her anything. Advantage Kimbo.

During Ricky's reception, I visited my High School class reunion. Class of '69 RULES! I left an open bar for a party that had a cash bar. A round of shots cost me $60. But I did cause a scene, so I guess it was worth it.

On Sunday afternoon we headed down to the Pike Market. Beautiful. Had lunch. Saw some crazy guys. Then went on a fairy ride to Bainbridge Island.

This is one of the crazy guys. Or maybe he really is a video game?

This is everyone on the fairy. Dru is telling us which way to go.

Overall, it was an amazing trip. Thanks Richard.

The Dead Weather

Jack White, you've done it again.

Maybe it's because I'm a fan of the White Stripes and The Raconteurs or maybe it's because I'm a fan of lyrical stories told over bass pounding drums and limitless guitar riffs, but I'm thinking I'm really going to dig this new album from The Dead Weather.

I just downloaded it. I've watched the introductory video for Treat Me Like Your Mother, directed by Jonathan Glazer. Now all it's going to take is a few more times through the iPod until I'm completely hooked.

If you asked me to name my top three favorite artists, I'd answer without hesitation: Perry Farrell, Billy Corgan and Jack White. Yes, there are a slew of others that round out my all-time favorite tune-tailors, but right now everything Jack touches turns to gold.

He's even got Aesthetic Apparatus on board doing some concert posters (I totally dig this print shop from Minneapolis. I've got an entire collection of their Doombuddies series.) I might have to purchase these (Sorry, Mieka. We need to get that bigger house with more wall space.)

The sad news is that the closest I'll be to seeing them live on this inaugural tour is Austin. Unfortunately, I'm in St. Louis. Maybe a trip to Denver is in order. Or maybe I'll see them in 3 years after they release their second album ... and Mr. White is on to his next project.

Listen. You hear that? Shitwinds are coming. Shitwinds.

Mr. Lahey is the greatest trailer park supervisor in the history of drunks. You have to respect his shitsnares and his shithawks and his shitbarometers. He's the man with the plan. And it's all the clearer the drunker he gets.

If you haven't seen or heard of Canada's very own The Trailer Park Boys, then you've been missing out. Direct TV picked up the series and is running it on the 101. It's probably the best sitcom of all times. Some say that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the best written show on TV, and to those fools I say, "you're just climbing up a shitrope."

Enjoy the link to the Mr. Lahey soundboard. Then enjoy the series: http://trailerparkboys.com/

I lost in cards again.

And I'm angry.