New Business Idea - #1

From time to time (everyday), I sit around and think of business ideas that will take me out of my 9-to-5 regimen. Actually, we do it as a group. And we come up with a lot of ideas that will probably never amount to anything. Why? Because we can't quit our jobs to start new jobs... or something like that. So what I'm going to do is start posting these ideas. If you want to steal it, go ahead. But when I come asking for my cut, don't be surprised if I have a baseball bat in my hand.

So here it is. Custom, one-of-a-kind t-shirts. What? People already do that? Not like this. Here's how it works. Basically, you pay me to think of something to put on your chest (and no, I'm not thinking about what you're thinking about... unless you're really busty. Then that's exactly what I'm thinking about.).

For as little as $40, I'll create a shirt that only you and I will understand the meaning of, that is, unless you want to let everyone else in on the inside joke. It's up to you. My canvas is cotton. And my medium is iron-on. The rest is instinct, attitude, obscurity and irreverence. If you'd like me to start work on your one-of-a-kind special-tee, just drop me an email: xxxxxxxxk@gmail.com. We can work out the payment and delivery from there.

So how did I get involved in this, you ask? It's quite simple. I was recently in an art show where real artists painted on skateboard decks. I'm not a real artist. I'm in marketing (You do the math.). So I created a white on white word enigma. ITCANTBWONG was stenciled in block letters, white gloss over flat. And so the t-shirt idea was born.

I put a $2,500.00 price tag on the deck. It didn't sell. So now when I open my custom t-shirt shop, I'm going to hang it over the door. And if you ever want to buy it, I'll tell you it's not for sale.

So here it is, the first installment of my break the 9-to-5 routine and do something different. Now buy a shirt from me already..........

No More Fun IN THE OFFICE!

Here's a trick for you. It'll drive everyone in the office nuts... actually, it'll drive the people who aren't laughing with you nuts.

Hit the "speaker" button on your phone. Then press "page." Don't touch anything. It's like having a hot mic. The screeching will fill the office air. And the yelling STOP THAT! will quickly follow.

I did this again today. It's Friday. It's something I normally do in response to stupidity. But on this day, I was forbidden to ever do it again. So in my haste, I encourage everyone to follow in these footsteps. Let's see if we can't blow the whole corporate phone system to hell.

Because I got yelled at, I'm going to take a break for a while. But when I return. When I bring the act back. The feedback on the phone system will make heads spin. And I can't wait to do it again.

What's the worst thing that happens? I might be asking one of you for a job.

Happy Screeching.

Enjoy

Some call it the Shocker. I call it a game.

Many of you know of the term, the shocker. "Two in the pink, One in the stink."

Well... a couple months ago, we started trying to come up with various ways of saying the same thing. Ok, so it was a long car ride, but we were laughing our arses off. Then we did the same thing over drinks at a going away party. Some were good. Some were bad. All were f-ing hilarious... if you're like me and have the sense of humor of a 5th grader (Yes, I'm 30.). So here are a couple that stuck (pun intended). Be careful, though. Once you start, it will become an obsession.

My goal is a good list of about 500. And so it begins:

Two in the Pink. One in the Stink.
2 in the goo. 1 in the poo.
Two in the clam. 1 in the ham.
Two in the slit. One in the shit.
2 in the cum. 1 in the bum.